Pretending
by Broadway4eva
Summary: Zia and Carter won't stop pretending. About what, you'll have to read to find out! Chapter two is up!
1. Chapter 1

_Well, hello there. I was listening to Jessie's Girl today, and there was a link to this song, Pretending, an original song from Glee, and I fell in love with it. But halfway through the song, it dawned on me. ZARTER! Anyways, I apologize for any OOC-ness in advance, and sadly, I don't own TKC. Same with Pretending. Ryan Murphy and this guy named Ian, whom I refer to as Hobo Hair, own that. Anyways, on with the story!_

_Face to face and heart to heart_  
><em>We're so close yet so far apart<em>

Zia and I sit on the steps of the Brooklyn House, talking and laughing about our terrible past lives. Ironic, how things that happened years ago can seem funny now, but were terrifying and serious back then. We sit close to each other, but are really worlds apart. I love Zia, but does she notice me? No.

_I close my eyes I look away_  
><em>That's just because I'm not okay<em>

Looking at Zia, I quickly look away when she notices. "What's wrong?" she asks.

"Nothing." I say, but I can tell that she knows I'm lying. Let's be honest here, I'm not okay.

_But I hold on I stay strong_  
><em>Wondering if we still belong<em>  
><em>Will we ever say the words we're feeling<em>  
><em>Deep down underneath it<em>

Will I ever get the courage to tell her how I really feel? No, obviously not. As much as I believe that we're destined to be more than friends, I can't tell Zia.

_Tear down all the walls_  
><em>Will we ever have a happy ending<em>  
><em>Or will we forever only be pretending<em>  
><em>We will always be pretending<em>

We may have a happy ending, but not with each other. I will always have to pretend that I only think her a friend. Nothing more, nothing less. Here's the problem: It's not true.

_How long do I fantasize_  
><em>Make believe that it's still alive<em>  
><em>Imagine that I am good enough<em>

All the time, I think back to her _shabti._ If that really was Zia, then maybe I wouldn't have to deal with this problem now. But then again, she'd be dead. I'm not good enough for her, though. Not in a million years.

_If we can choose the ones we love_  
><em>But I hold on I stay strong<em>  
><em>Wondering if we still belong<em>

If only love was easy. It isn't, that's the problem. I can stay strong and put on a brave face, but every day I wonder what we could be, if only I could handle Zia not feeling the same way about me.

_Will we ever say the words we're feeling_  
><em>Deep down underneath it<em>  
><em>Tear down all the walls<em>  
><em>Will we ever have a happy ending<em>  
><em>Or will we forever only be pretending<em>

I'm never going to be able to tell her, so I'll always be pretending. Pretending to be happy as just friends, pretend I don't like her.

_Will we (oh oh) always (oh oh) be keeping secrets safe_  
><em>Every move we make<em>  
><em>Seems like nowhere's safe to go<em>  
><em>And it's such a shame<em>  
><em>Cuz if you feel the same<em>  
><em>How am I supposed to know<em>

I'm always going have to keep this secret, and it seems as if nowhere is safe, because this will always loom over me. It really is a shame, though, because what if Zia feels the same about me? How would I know?

_Will we ever say the words we're feeling_  
><em>Deep down underneath it<em>  
><em>Tear down all the walls<em>  
><em>Will we ever have a happy ending<em>  
><em>Or will we forever only be pretending<em>  
><em>Will we (oh oh) always (oh oh) be pretending<em>

Will we ever say what we feel? Will we ever have a happy ending? Or will I always be pretending? I don't always want to be pretending. Not now, not ever. Not anymore. "Zia?"

_Here's my fake cliffy! But here's the fake part: there's not another chapter. Good for you! You get to think, and decide what happens! What do you think Zia says? Why not review and tell me? I would really appreciate it. Anyways, flames are accepted, but not appreciated. Very different things. Anyways, ciao!_


	2. Author's Note

_HiHi! Now all you know how indesicsive I am. Should this be a one-shot, or should I do another chapter? If so, what songs might I use, and is there a specific POV that would be totally awesome? Please review or PM and tell me._


	3. Chapter 2

_Well, I just listened to Sparks Fly on repeat for who know how long, because I am totaly in love with the song and it's Zarterness! Now, I have decided to continue this, for my simple pleasure. You don't have to love it, hate it, anything, but I would appreciate it if you did read it and help me improve my writing ability. Yo no tengo ni Sparks Fly ni TKC, si? _

That Carter Kane really was something else. He was just the kind of boy I felt it was wrong to trust, and should stay away from, but I just couldn't bring myself to do so.

Often times, we would sit on the roof of the Brooklyn House, speaking about everything from music to how to reunite Egyptian Magicians with the gods in a good way. Whenever he sat there right next to me, while we talked, I hoped that he couldn't tell what I was thinking about, even when I nodded along and pretended to listen to everything he said. Because if he did, I wouldn't know what to say.

Sometimes, I wished that he would stop all his blabbing and just kiss me. Make me forget about my past family, town, and everything I had lost in my life. Because when he sat there, and simply smiled, I felt guilty for trying to kill him. Twice.

His brown eyes, deep with emotion, were enought to keep me thinking until the late hours of the night. They haunted me, and it could kill me.

When I sat next to Carter, I forgot about everything that I had been told all my life about Kanes. That they were bad news, terrible people. Or were they? He made me question everything that a Kane was, according to Per Ankh. If only he would see how I truly felt, things might be different.

For the rest of the world, I was like a dam built up, a wall to block the flow of my despair over my losses and sadness. But with Carter, I could be free, and let all of that spill over, and he would understand. Comfort me, even. For a year, I had waited patiently for him to see, and I was getting fed up.

If only he would understand how I felt. Just stop the talking and understand what I feel like around him for once. Leave my past behind, and let Carter overwhelm me, but I couldn't do that if he didn't understand how I felt. Which he wouldn't. Couldn't.

We could be so much more then ourselves together. We really could. Sadly, he just couldn't seem to see how I feel, and you begin to doubt if he really cares about you, or if he only looks at the surface.

_Like it? Hate it? I hope you feel one of the latter, so I would love to hear your feedback in a review or a PM. I'm not going to update this on a regular basis, just when I feel inspiration. _


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